One stitch at a time... Aster progress

Hi all!

I'm trying to keep myself together during the last weeks of the academic year while feeling rather disconnected from it all. I took the General Surgery exam today which was a complete disaster that left me physically drained, so I couldn't finish the Aster I started, but a stitch a day will eventually result in a complete garment. I often expect that surgery will make sense to me, just as sewing usually does, but the reality is different. While nothing in medicine is ever black and white multiple choice questions tend to focus on the grey area in which choosing the "correct" answer is sometimes impossible; especially if you're the kind of person that always overthink things and don't accept "raw edges" in anything in life. I'm trying to remind myself that unlike these weird and crazy exams in real life I can sometimes find a place where I belong, and manage scenarios much better... and maybe I should also work on that "raw edges" thing. Imperfection can be perfect in its own way.

Back to sewing - I bought the Aster pattern immediately upon its release, a very rare impulse purchase, because at the time I was looking for a button down (or up? can you please explain the difference?) pattern that is less boxy and casual than the Archer, and also a pattern that offers short sleeves with cuffs along with the traditional long sleeve (with a tower placket!). The only down side of the pattern is the C cup bust that it is drafted for. I usually make a Small Bust Adjustment on my tops anyway (to correct the standard B cup to my AA), but I was afraid the pattern will not suit my body type, being drafted for a more traditional woman figure than mine. 

the Small Bust Adjustment for the Aster recommends the sewer to choose the size based on the circumference of the full bust corrected to a C cup. According to this I should have made a size 4 or 6, based on my "corrected" bust measurement (I have a 85cm full bust, with 85cm upper bust. true story). After overthinking it (for months) I decided to go with a size 2 according to my true full bust measurement with 1 cm extra, and do a 0.5" SBA on each front. Despite what it appears to be, sewing isn't pure math... 

Instead of sewing a complete muslin I decided to try a quick test garment with the only piece of stash fabric I don't really like - I got it from a friend's mother, while the print is crazy in a good way, the fabric itself feels like plastic. 

Despite breaking all the sewing rules, neglecting all the notches and not pressing any of the seams, the more progress I make the more I like this shirt. I only have the hem and buttons to complete and it might end up a wearable garment!

I feel stupid for putting off this project just because I was afraid from making a mistake - cutting the wrong size and ruining good fabric. The more I read about fabric waste and the ecological impact the more guilt I feel towards my NEED to create with PHYSICAL MATERIAL. I can't live only on the virtual world and fabric is like air to me. Depriving myself of it just because I'm afraid to increase my ecological footprint is such a burden, so is avoiding new patterns just because they might not suit me. At the end re-sewing TNTs or only attempting shape-less garments that require little to no fitting is not fun. It is extremely practical, but not crafty. Working on a new pattern and not thinking too much about the end result is so liberating. Like a child crafting in the present and not worrying about the space it will occupy in the world and such.

So with that positive spirit I'll leave you with a picture of me trying on my almost-complete Aster proudly worn over my me-made pajamas (city gym shorts, and a tank from a slip pattern).

I thought of sewing another Aster (the practicality!) but after a successful challenge I would like another... Now I'm thinking of sewing the Victoria blazer using a colorful bright floral I have in my stash. What do you think?

2016 reSEWlutions

Hi all!
I know, we are two months into 2016, but during January I had the wedding on my mind so I postponed my new year resolutions till I get back to a regular routine. Considering I've just started the last week of the internal medicine rotation my routine is as normal as can be. The rotation in this department is considered the most demanding rotation of the year, and getting married mid-rotation had proven more difficult than I imagined. I'm happy that life is about to get less complicated starting next week, so I think it's time to get my reSEWlutions in order.

Since I started clinical rotations two months ago I noticed how I have become more attentive to what I wear, as well as what other students around me wear. I think we all try to be comfortable while still looking tidy and somewhat "grown-up". It's the first time I notice how much affected by fashion trends we all are. So my first reSEWlution for 2016 is to challenge my self with my makes rather than go for what mimics RTW choices. It may sound obvious, a lot of us sew in order to express ourselves and make unique garments, but lately I notice that I'm drawn to the patterns and sillahouettes that resemble what I'd find in chainstores. There is nothing wrong with this kind of inspiration of course, but it is less interesting to make something I could buy. At the same time I notice that I get the most complements over garments that resemble the latest trends in RTW. I like to talk about clothes and obviously don't mind the complements, but it's less interesting to talk about something that looks exactly like what I would find in the nearest H&M. I hope that in 2016 I'll make clothes that are more interesting to me and less " trendy".

Colette book club

I started to read the previous book from the book club and was on schedule to join the discussion, but unfortunately my Kindle screen broke and I missed the deadline. I finished the book two days ago and already started the next one on the list. I would like to join the discussion on this one, and stick with the routine they set. It's so nice to have someone else find all the good sewing-related books!

Make sure I stash enough notions

While I have a lot of fabric, I never seem to have enough thread / buttons / fusible making it impossible to spontaneously start my next project. This year I'll try to stash more notions so missing material won't prevent me from conquering the next project.

Commit to organise the stash

At this point I understand that stash organisation is not a one-time thing. Even when I find my system I will still have to rearrange it whenever I take a piece out, or add some scraps in (or new pieces of fabric!). I realise that the more I use up stash the bigger it gets, because the scraps take up so much space... I recently arranged all the fabric in boxes and would like to actively keep it organised. Additionally I would like to frequently take stock and get rid of scraps more often.

Invest in equipment that will make sewing woven material easier

I keep avoiding the woven fabric in my stash because pressing sleeves to achieve a professional look is difficult with my current set up. It never bothered me before, but the more experience I have the more attentive I become towards pressing and seam finish. I've been telling myself I should get a sleeve ham for a few years now, so 2016 is the year I invest in a few pressing tools!

That's it for now, let's hope 2016 will be full of fun, health and positivity!

On accomplishments and judgment against them

Some days I know who I am, some days I think I have no clue. 

Some days I am confident with my life choices while on other days criticism really hurts me. 

We had a long weekend, and I wanted to deep-clean the apartment. I LOVE our apartment, it's the first place in my adult life I call HOME. I want to spend time (and money) making it prettier and more "us". Rented apartments in Israel are usually kept in a bad condition. Despite the (very) high prices it's not uncommon to have lousy and old facilities. When we moved in two years ago we cleaned the place thoroughly, painted the walls, hung shelves etc, but we didn't do much with the bathroom since it was all too much and we didn't want to start painting both walls and ceiling.

It was fine for two years, but after the winter the bathroom needed a face-lift. So I bought hydrogen peroxide (diluted it to 3%) to get rid of the mold, and gave the washing machine its annual treatment with vinegar and baking soda. As it wasn't enough, I also applied new grout on the bathroom floor.

I felt like a super-hero!

All happy and stinky I went to a family dinner, and proudly shared my afternoon act of magic. The first reaction was "oh, you have too much free time!", followed by another key line  "but it's a rented apartment, why would you go through all the trouble?"

This reaction crushed me. MY HOME is so important to me. Coming back from work to a place I can call HOME is a feeling nothing can replace. having a place that I love, knowing that most of it is my own creation, this is something I care so much for. Being surrounded by items that spark joy is precious. And having it all dismissed by someone implying my time is better spent doing other things is hurtful.

I didn't know what to do, so I went back HOME and went all out: painted the bathroom (walls and ceiling! primer and paint!), scrubbed the ceramic with vinegar to get rid of all the limescale, took the sinks apart to clean the pipes, removed the carpet from the bedroom floor (my landlord approved) and more. The bathroom looks amazing, and three days from now I'll take myself on a date to the flee market to find accessories. Every shower I now take is different and refreshing. And I have myself to thank for it.

But I'm still sad.  I choose to live a different life. I have a "normal" day-job I will not replace for anything in the world, I think what I do is important. But at the same time I feel that sewing my own clothes, using ecological cleaning supplies, recycling and reusing is my way of living a balanced life, feeling that I'm a positive force in the world, that I do more good than bad. I also choose to spend my (hard-earned) money on dance classes, trips, fabric and craft supplies. Should I be ashamed?

When somebody dismisses my choices, saying I'm wasting my time with all this, there still is a little voice in my head thinking that he might be right.

Should I do something else? Be somebody else? Am I a young idealist that still hasn't grown out of it? (I'm 27, will I change?)

and most importantly - am I alone with my point of view on life?

Did anyone ever insulted you, laughed at you for sewing and DIYing?  How should I react if/when it happens again?

 

Me Made May - a celebration of me-mades (?)

I am one of these people who anticipate May since March. For the past few years May was a month for celebrating all the self made garments and reflecting on the sewing process in the year that passed. May is also the month during which blogs discuss broader aspects of sewing rather than publishing only posts with new finished projects. So this year I anticipated reading and watching pictures capturing the dynamic aspects of clothes and how they work in real-life, outside the "finished garment" posts. I anticipated reading posts about the successes and failures in sewing, and how these experiences affect the "to-sew" lists. 

I was a bit disappointing reading that many of the big bloggers decided to ditch this experience. I know the sewing community develops over time and it is true that many of us wear our me-mades on a daily basis anyway. But circumscribing me-mades to finished-garment posts takes the point out of making and writing about our sewing, and makes sewing similar to RTW where the only job a garment has is to look good and picture-ready.

The lack of documentation in MMM15 reflects a bigger change in sewing blogs over the past two years - the easier patterns are to sew, and the greater frequency with which patterns are released makes sewing more like fast fashion. Maddie posted her take on that exactly one yer ago, during May. This change is also apparent in the photo shoots presenting finished garments - sewing photography becomes as important as sewing itself. Much like in RTW.

The growing sewing community is amazing, and it is because of these changes that we are able to sew most of our clothes. The quality and detailed information that comes with the new patterns helps us all conquer sewing garments we would otherwise skip such as jeans. But these changes could also make us less aware of the actual job our me-mades have in the real world, which is to be comfortable and pretty outside the settings of the photo-shoots and blog posts.

I wish that while the community continues to grow and new patterns are released, we will remember to reflect on the process more often and continue the discussion over garments long after they were first photographed.

Are you ashamed with your RTW purchases?

Hi all!

I'm 75% done with my KonMary project. I gave away so many things that I'm lacking some essentials at this point. I started organizing and tiding my stuff more than a month ago, but the process is still on-going as I keep giving away items I don't like anymore, never liked (but got as presents), or simply getting rid of things that are too worn/used to hold on to.

As I'm letting go of things, I understand I need to replace some essential garments. For instance my winter coat has seen better days (also I always hated it, got it from my sister and never enjoyed wearing it) and in the past two winters didn't fight the rain as it should. I gave it away, but had to buy a new one. The same goes with "formal shoes" (my previous pair was lost by the airline company) and the list goes on.

The list actually goes on longer than I anticipated. I started writing down all the items I need to replace/ make/ buy, and am slowly working my way through it. However I'm surprised by how ashamed I feel whenever I need/ want to purchase an item of clothing. From the moment I write it down to the moment I actually buy it a year can pass. That's a regular for me, But at this moment some things should not be postponed anymore. Summer is just around the corner and the number of simple tees I have for walking/ lounging can't last even a week.

are you always trying to justify purchases? trying to avoid them? feeling ashamed with your material needs?

A sense of Self

There are other things I want to write about. My me-made-May pledge is one of them, as May is only two days away and I'm not yet sure how to finalize my pledge. I have some finished garments to show, and patterns I would like to discuss, and a few meters of fabric that I purchased and can't wait till I'm able to wear, and a Morris blazer in process. And I'm also going to a conference and would like to share my me-made wardrobe decisions and...

Despite all the sewing-related thoughts I have throughout the day, I haven't stitched a seam in a few days. Life has the tendency to explode on me from time to time, and when it happens it's chaotic and tiring and results in me feeling a great loss, as if I have lost some sense of self.

Graduate school has its ups and downs. Few months ago I was stuck in an endless tunnel of experiments that just don't work. Also during the war the MRI system I work with was down (due to safety reasons) and I lost precious time. I had no energy and no motivation and felt like the entire world was against me (the entire world, with the exception of my partner, best friends, and pHD supervisor - this is actually a large group!). Lately things are looking different. I'm not sure yet whether my results are enough, but I'm feeling a change of pace and also the ability to look back and have different perspective on things.

However when things are chaotic and I don't sew as much as I would have liked I always worry that it always will by like that. That the pace will not slow down, that I will not regain my sewing energy, and that the fabric I love will never be made into a complete garment (rather than the pile of UFOs I currently have).

That fear is taking up more time than the time it takes to finally sew the binding into that last Strathcona or stitch the waistband to my newest Moss skirt, but it still holds me back. Mostly I'm afraid that my sense of self is depended on so many different things, and given that a perfect life balance is not realistic I always have to leave part of me neglected, that part of "me" that belongs to the activity I have no energy for.

Thins change all the time, life is dynamic. Achievements are counted in years and decades, not in the couple of hours it takes to sew a t-thirt. I know all that, and yet when I can't have it all I find myself searching for that sense of self that was left neglected on that lost piece of puzzle.

Is sewing part of your definition of "self"? How do you feel if you don't get to sew for longer than you would have liked? and what will you make once you finally are able to turn the machine back on?

Sewing "Chocolate"

Well, this post could have also been named as "I have super powers!" but we'll get to that in a a few lines...

Last night I came home "a bit" frustrated from consecutive tough days at work. If you follow Erin's series on graduate students around the sewing community you are probably familiar with the fact graduate students are frustrated A LOT. I guess if you're human, and have a day job, you may also experience this frustration from time to time. Despite how much I love my job and how important I think it is, I can't avoid frustration when things just don't work.

Anyway, I came home and wasn't feeling like doing anything fun (or anything at all). I had about an hour before bed time and I felt like I didn't have the mental energy to start with the pants I've already cut, or cut another project. Looking around me my eyes fell on a scrap of knit fabric, left over from a long sleeve t-shirt I made over the weekend. Instead of shoving it into the (overflowing) scrap drawer I took out my undies pattern and made myself new undies from the scrap. 

It made me feel better.

It took about an hour, during which I could clearly think about anything and everything. My first thought was it felt like I was sewing chocolate. You know, when in doubt - eat chocolate? So I did something else that made me feel better, took longer to complete than what it takes to eat some chocolate, and at the end I have a new pair of undies!

Then I thought that if I can just make myself a new pair of undies in under one hour, I must have super powers. It was not the first pair I made (though I changed a few things, detailed below), and I should make some more as my wardrobe still hasn't recovered from the lost luggage in Sicily a few months back. Yet the idea I can use some scraps and elastic and make myself a new pair of undies is not trivial. The fact we can sew our own clothes isn't trivial. It takes dedication and perseverance, and the strength to deal with frustration when things don't work. Just like in real like, only on a smaller scale. 

Specifically, undies are important to me as I'm very particular about what I like to wear. I feel liberated that I can make it myself and I'm no longer depended on retailers, trends, and whatnot. 

As for the actual sewing: Up until last night I always used fold-over elastic. I wanted to try something else, as the fold-over feels a bit to thick and stiff. This time I used decorative elastic for the waist and self fabric for the leg bands. The pattern is something I drafted from a favorite pair a while back. I used the overlocker for the 3(!) seams, and regular zigzag stitching to attach the elastic with a stretch needle. I prefer the result over the fold-over with 3-step zigzag. 

Today is a new day, and I hope it'll be less frustrating. At least I now have new underwear to help me conquer the day!

Internet and "on-line sewing"

I read Morgan's last post about her week without internet with great interest. There are times in life when I would prefer to immerse myself in the fantasy world of the internet. Less than two months ago we've been through such a period of time during the war in Israel. Scrolling Instagram, reading blogs and collecting inspiration on Pinterest helped me disconnect for short periods of time from the awful painful reality of our being at that time. We were mostly cooped up in the apartment as missile alarms could go off at any time of the day, and while in our town it was relatively safe our families in other parts of the country had them several times a day. Looking at pictures of other people from the sewing community having normal daily fun and continuing with normal daily sewing activities helped me remember that this time will past and I, too, will able to go back to my normal life. 

This advantage of the internet, helping us get inspired by looking at other people's daily activities, normal routines and achievements, is a complicated one. Of course this sort of inspiration is a good thing, but given the edited nature of the content we consume on the internet, instead of being inspired we can end up feeling bad with ourselves and with our seemingly less glorious lives. Looking at pictures taken at special fun moments may give us the illusion that every moment of every day may look like this for everybody else, while we're stuck in a relatively boring reality. This may result in disappointment with our own lives, even though we may subjectively enjoy it very much. 

Another point is that by looking at what other people are sewing and being inspired by their choice of patterns and fabric, we may sometimes find ourselves wanting to make the exact same thing rather than choose our sewing projects in a way that is most suitable for our lives, workplace, and personal style. This may be especially more relevant nowadays as personal sewing blogs become more professional and photos are better directed and edited. Sometimes I find it hard to distinguish between genuinely liking a garment I see and being inspired to make it myself, as opposed to being attracted to the atmosphere the picture represents; usually this atmosphere has very little to do with the reality of life, and the garment plays only a small part of the scene. I interpret my immediate reaction to the photo as my wish to have the way of life portrayed in the picture. Usually the scene is calm, smooth, bright and peaceful, light-years away from my regular, normal, fun but un-glamorous life. Considering the time I have to spend on my hobby is limited, I would like to spend as much of it actually sewing but sometimes I feel so far away from the pretty peaceful lives portrayed in blogs, that it feels like sewing an actual garment will not bring me closer to experience something that beautiful.

However, the truth is that clothes don't REALLY matter, and having beautiful peaceful life has very little (if anything) to do with what we wear. I love clothes, I love sewing, I feel better with myself when I dress nicely, and I absolutely wouldn't trade the time I spend sewing for anything. But the reason I love my life is because I spend it doing what I enjoy and with people I love, and not because it's perfect. I don't live in pictures but in reality, and this is something I sometimes forget. 

The problem is - I wouldn't be the sewist I am or the person I am today, if not for the internet. The inspiration and information is indispensable (not just for sewing, but in almost every area of my life) and therefore I can't and won't give it up. It is probably more like going on a diet - we all must eat, it's just a matter of quantity, quality, and the fact we shouldn't be controlled by it.

Consequently I've been trying to find a better balance between "online sewing" and real-life sewing. More importantly by making a conscience effort to be more aware of what I like and why I like certain types of inspiration, I'm trying to distinguish between patterns and garment that will go well with my everyday wardrobe, and those that are simply beautiful but probably will not fit in my life. 

I hope that by doing so, as well as by managing my online sewing time better, I'll be able to create a happy functional wardrobe and lengthen my attention span so I'll be able to concentrate for longer periods of time on "real life stuff". Managing time is always a problem (especially for self-employed or those who have very little guidance from their supervisors at work!) and I hope the first steps I'm taking now will help me become better at this with time. 

One Week One Pattern - my reflections

First I should come clean and say I wore my self drafted boat neck tops for only 5 days.On the first day of the challenge I forgot it was September 6th and wore a date night dress (for a morning coffee date) and on the last day I was shadowing doctors in a medical institute as part of my studies so I wore scrubs. As much as I think these awful scrubs deserve some scrutinizing (seriously, these things are unisex and the crotch on the pants is designed exclusively for men. I look like a big pile of sea foam when I wear it), lets concentrate on five days of OWOP for this post.

The gist of OWOP, one-week-one-pattern, is to wear variations of the same pattern for a duration of a week, and get creative in mixing and matching garments to get the most out of an existing pattern. For me this challenge isn't about having 7 garments made from the same pattern and wearing them for a week, which is mostly what I did this time, and thus I don't think I succeeded in the challenge very much. I love the idea of taking a versatile garment and dressing it up or down to create a variety of outfits suited for different occasions.  However by the third day of the challenge it had become clear to me that my work-wardrobe was rather boring and I had very little versatility in my daily outfits.

I currently have five tops from the same pattern (self-drafted), two of which are from woven fabrics, two are cropped, and one has long sleeves. I like the way they fit and these garments are potentially very versatile, if only I had more than one type of bottoms to pair them with. I usually wear pants for work, but I have multiples from the same pattern (and one pair of slacks), so I don't have any interesting combinations. Of course I could (and should) accessorize the same silhouette differently, but I usually don't do it (even thought I have plenty accessories. go figure).

So lesson number one:
Think more about accessorize. 

Starting September the temperature in Jerusalem (the capital of Israel, where I live) drops. As much as I dislike the city, the weather here is great year-round and in the fall it's especially comfortable. It's the perfect weather for fall scarves, which could be such an easy make. I should try it at least once in the coming months.

As I wear mostly the same type of pants, every morning I wanted to grab a skirt and wear it to work, and every morning realized I didn't have any that could go nicely with loose fitting tops. The moss skirt (cut and ready to be stitched) would probably be a great addition to my closet. It's fitted but not formal, and the lack of fluff means I won't be afraid to have wind blowing it up. While I don't like wearing short skirts, I'm not as self-conscious with a pair of legging underneath.
.
lesson number two:
Try to incorporate more skirts 

Lastly, it had become very clear to me that my workplace is seriously ugly and uninspiring. I work at a lab and mostly sit in front of a computer. I love my job, I love research, and I do the coolest things ever, but in the ugliest environment possible. When I asked a friend to take my pictures during the week we couldn't find one real spot within the building that had nice lighting or reasonable background. While work environment can affect our productivity, there isn't much I can do about it (and frankly I accept it as it is, I love fashion and interested in interior design, but it isn't REALLY important. I'm grateful for doing what I love everyday, the rest is just details). However, combining the ugly and disorganized environment with loose fitting casual clothes results in me feeling frumpy and juvenile.

I had some interesting discussions with my friends at the lab regarding our casual dress code. Israel is a Mediterranean country so it's a casual dress code all around. Most of Israel is too hot to wear anything more formal, and it couldn't be more apparent than in the university, where it's very acceptable not to care about one's attire (or at least act as if you couldn't care less...). There's a fine balance between a casual look and a frumpy look. I should pay more attention to it. Mostly, I should just accept that while some of my older me-makes are still wearable, they may not be suitable for my age and state of employment anymore.

so... lesson number three:
Get rid of things 

I learned a lot from this challenge and It made me think again about my fabric+pattern choices. I wish there was another challenge coming up (like self-stitched September), I don't want to wait until MeMadeMay. Until then... I have some thinking and sewing to do!



 

The Blank Canvas Syndrome

                There was a time in the not so distant past, during my first years of med-school, when I always worried about money. It's true that with today's fast fashion one doesn't need to spend a lot of money to dress reasonably well,  but my passion was never for clothes but rather for sewing my own and enjoying the process. Since I was so worried about not spending much I felt like I couldn’t justify any purchase, fabric included, and not having "enough" material to create from made me miserable. A couple of years later and my financial situation is stable enough to afford spending money on my hobby; I decide on a specific amount I can spend on fabric every month based on other expenses I have and my priorities. Having a budget means I can purchase fabric without guilt as I know I only buy what I can afford and I know each piece of material will end up as a garment I can wear, or as something I tried and learned from. 

                Undoubtedly I spend more on fabric than I spent on clothes prior to my sewing days. However, having "enough" material to work with means I have the freedom to create whatever I want. Usually I alternate between difficult and easy projects but of course also choose a project based on my mood, needs, and the free time I have on my hands.

                "Enough" is a tough word to define, though. Currently I have about 20 pieces of fabric in my stash to make garments from, but I also have two drawers full of scraps to use for pockets, binding or craft projects. 

Two recent additions to my stash. The bottom one will hopefully end up as an Alder dress while the top one (which I purchased because my boyfriend really liked it...) will be an Alder tank hack.

Having 20 pieces of fabric in my stash means that fabric is not the "rate limiting step" in the process of sewing and designing my wardrobe. So what's stopping me from sewing through this fabric and creating the wardrobe of my dreams?

My art teacher in high-school called it the "Blank Canvas Syndrome", when student will stare at a blank canvas in-front of them fearing from ruining the canvas by potentially not creating a "worthy" painting. Sometimes I feel the same thing trying to bring myself to cut into the fabric. I'm afraid I'll end up with something I won't wear and therefore my efforts will only waste good fabric. Hesitation is another stumbling block. In my mind's eye each piece of fabric can be multiple garments, while in reality once I decide on a pattern and cut the fabric, I can't be anything else. How do I know which pattern is the "best" for each fabric? The black and gold polka-dot fabric that ended up as my victory slacks was purchased to become a dress. Only later I realized the weight and stretch are perfect for slacks for fall, rather than a dress I won't wear that much.

Stretch cotton for pants. I never wear colorful pants, but I want to try and see how it works.

         

I don't want to let my fears prevent me from experimenting with new silhouettes and patterns. I know that trying something and failing it is better than having a closet full of fabric (rather than clothes). I also know that by sewing the same thing over and over I will never improve my skills and have interesting wardrobe, but I find it difficult to just let go and have fun with the fabric.

What about you? Are you reluctant to cut into good fabric because you don't want to "ruin" it? Do you feel it prevents you from trying new things?